~H e a r T~

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."~Blaise Pascal~



 
Bicara soal hati..persoalan yang sgt subjektif. Aku dikelilingi org2 yg punye berbagai rahsia hati. Ada yang bahgaia dengan berkongsi sebahagian hati dgn org lain, ade yg berduka bile memilih utk berkongsi..malah ada yg x berani nak ambil langkah berkongsi sebab xnak mengguris hati sendiri.



Hati ialah satu objek yg sgt rapuh..Hati ibarat kaca. Jika seseorang bermain dengannya ia akan tercalar dan jika terlebih mempermainkannya ia akan pecah berderai.Bila orang tu nak cuba baiki,orang tu akan tercedera dan kalau boleh dibaiki pon..ia takkan sama dengan keadaan asalnya.Akan ada calar2 dan kesan goresan yang takkan hilang.



Hati perempuan ialah objek dimana mempunyai nilai young modulus,E yg sgt rendah. Ada 2-3 org kwn aku yg terluka kerana hati nye dipermainkan smp skrg xboleh nak benci laki tu sebab :" In every girls life, there will be 3 guys, the one she loves, the one she hates, and the one who's she's crazy about, and in the end... they're all the same guy! "

 
"Never make anyone your everything because when you lose them.... You'll end up with nothing. And no one is worth your everything"~dasar_chomeyl~


Hati aku pulak mempunyai nilai stifness matrix,[K] sgt rendah. Walau berkali aku cuba membenci orgyg telah memecahkan hatiku jadi berkeping2..akhirnya aku akan tetap mengingati dia sbg seseorg yg pnah mbuat aku bhgia..damn it! wuusshhh...


"All I know is when I'm with youI don't need anything else but it sucks that you don't feel the SAME" ~dasar_chomeyl~


Akhirnya aku dpt solution dari subject Lightweight structure (thanks to Prof Baier). To increase stiffness material,one of the method is by increasing the core of the material..contohnye penggunaan honeycomb kat wing aircraft. --> Aplikasi pada hati, ialah kita kena teguhkan dasar hati untuk belajar menerima kesedihan dan menukarkannya kepada tenaga kinetik yang boleh memajukan diri kita..complicated huh? :)


"payahnya memujuk hati menjadi setenang laut kerana sesekali ombak besar melanda..tsunami muncul..memusnahkan segala2nya" ~dasar_chomeyl~

expressing emotions

Kahlil Gibran once said that :In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

I'm a happy go lucky person,I always laugh and will try my best to make other to laugh too. I enjoy being the one that listen to other problems. Its hard for me to share what I have inside my mind unless to the one I really believe.

As I listened to others pain..I will be grateful to myself.I will start thinking that there's so many people out there who have troubles and pain which is a lot bigger than what I'm experiencing. At least I will motivate myself and tell my precious heart that the problem I'm suffering is just too small compared to others.

Its good to share the pain u have inside with the one who can truly listens. Not everybody have the courage to reveals the feelings u have inside to others. I have soooo much pain and emotions that I want to let go..but I couldn't! The only emotions that I can show to others is laughing..even though I am really mad to that person, I will not show it in front of he/she.

Sometimes I become so envy to some of my friends bcoz they can just simply shout/yell/express mad face/make angry voice when they r pissed of with something..maybe I'm not gifted with the behavior of letting my emotions viewed by public :(

In the end, I choose to cry instead of letting he/she knows that I'm angry towards him/her.

** This post is written as a tribute to those who have been very patient in listening to my pain.. thanks 4 being there 4 me **

<--> I used 2 share my pains with these tatty bears..fool huh..!

"Im so tired of pretending everything is okay... my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away" ~dasar_chomeyl~

gomen people!

I'm writing due to the bad feelings that I have inside me..geeeee..I'm so disappointed with Malaysian people who is working in governmental sector. I'm proud to be Malaysian here in Germany but due to one occasions,it has changed my positive impression to the other Malaysian here.
 
Last week I have some matters that I need to settle with Malaysian embassy in Berlin: which is about 9hrs journey from Munich with bullet train.I took a night train and arrive there at 10am. What disappointed me is that the way that stupid Malaysian embassy clerk treated me.
She was a little bit annoyed that I arrived there late (which is only 10.30am)..she didn't even consider that I already had a really tiring 9hrs journey on train and looking for places at which I has never come before. She talks to me as if I'm a one of crap kid..Don't she knows that I used to be the only woman engineer working with the 1st aircraft design company in Malaysia?hahhaha...dont get me wrong...I dont mean to brag on here..its just I want 2 distinguished between the word "clerk" and "aeronautical engineer"..puas hati aku.. :)

I go there alone..which is something I never do in my life. I have never been to any new places (without knowing anyone from that place )all by myself. It was like a new challenge for me but I didn't feel regret for going there because Berlin is a nice place to be. What regrets me is how Malaysian people who works in governmental office treated another Malaysian. I used to go to few government office here in Germany, and surprisingly: all of those Deutsch people treated me better than stupid clerk treat me.

Its not that I have become "lupe daratan" after being here for only 3months..its just that I am so annoyed with the way that I've been served. People always saying that highly educated or rich person is snobbish , but nowadays I do think that people with lower education and lower salary..is much more snobbish. 

Do u notice that nurse is more fussy than the doctor itself, kerani bank is more fussy than the pegawai bank, and in my case..that stupid clerk is more fussy than the ambassador himself..!

pic 1: in front of the Malaysian embassy building

pic 2:to proved that I'm in Berlin
* click on image to enlarge :p


Conclusion: Be an educated person..in that way u'll learn how to respect each and every human being with honor and respects. Everyone have the right to be respect even though he/she is just a gardener because he/she do have contributions to the worlds ecology system!!

couple

Few years ago: I'm a very "rupalistik" person. I believe that good looks is the most important thing in life. I always dream 2 b with someone who looks like Yusry KRU, Khalid Jamlus, David Beckham, or Prince William..Whenever I bumped into a couple which looks like not suited to each other(read: laki hodoh dgn pompuan cantik or pompuan biase2 je dgn laki ensem gile babeng), I'll always wondering..."how on earth can they be together? Are they blinded by love or what?Cant he look for someone else?"..My perception on that time is that good looking guy is for good looking girls and vice versa...

Present: My view of life has changed when I've fall in love and also due to some unexpected occasions that occurs in my life...which then suddenly changed my view 360deg..I've met someone who looks like Yusry KRU..but our relationship doesnt last long..maybe because there's no chemistry between us..eventhough he's such a nice guy..(if u happens to read this: thanks 4 d time u've shared with me!)...

Later in my life, I met someone who looks like Khalid Jamlus..and knowing him is the most STUPID thing I've done in my life..he matches all the looks criteria that I have in my mind..but none of his behavior matched with what I needed from a guy..which then makes me WAKE UP from my fairy tales dream..I hope i'll never met him again in the rest of my life :( 

Anonymous saying: The sad thing in life is when u met someone and then fall in love.Later u realize that he's not meant 4 u and u have wasted couple of years for some one who is not worth it! Bear in mind that if he's not worth it now..he will never be worth it in ur lifetime!Let him go..and forget him...

Personal thoughts: I believe that its the way to show that life is FAIR. If everyone is looking for beautiful person(even though beautiful is subjective), what will happen to those who dont really looks good but have a nice heart? So,now I understand how "laki hodoh dgn pompuan cantik or pompuan biase2 je dgn laki ensem gile babeng" will end up with each other..yup ..i got the lesson already :)

Conclusions: Look for someone that

(1) can accept u as u are..

(2) can love u no matter how bad looking u are..

(3) can pampered u with real love..

(4) can sacrifice for u..

(5) willing 2 do anything 4 u..

p/s:its hard 2 find someone which can fit all those criterion..hehe

Anonymous saying: Love is not about looking for perfectionist..but to look for someone who can make u perfect!

orang2 hebat

This is the first time I write something in my blog..the reason is: I WAS INSPIRED AND AMAZED by few really special people; that I've managed to browsed through their blogs. They are mainly afdlin shauki, nizam zakaria, Allahyarham yasmin ahmad and patrick teoh
Why do I name them special?. I think u guys need 2 configure it urself bcoz different people will give different thought about others. But I personally feels that those guys n lady are somehow special bcoz they are thinking out of box compared to other Malaysians.


Take into considerations first aaaaa..Yasmin Ahmad..she's to me is a hell damned good director & scriptwriter. What she wrote really come from the bottom of her heart ( I think so)..Neglecting what others is saying about her..bcoz they don't even give a damn care about how she feels towards what they are saying...Yes, I agree that some part of her movie is not really suitable for malay culture but that is the fact now in malaysian culture.... Is it her wrong when she wanted to show that malay girl can fall in love with chinese guy?NOT AT ALL!


Patrick teoh blog is damn so good bcoz u'll feel like u r reading harakah but in a more open-minded way..how to say aa...its like harakah is telling the true stories but people wont believe it bcoz they will disregard it as political tactics but once u read patrick teoh's blog, u'll see that what Harakah is reporting is 100% true..eventhough I believe that patrick teoh doesnt even read harakah in his lifetime..hihihi...


the next guy..afdlin shauki..he's such a great filmmaker.. yet people sometimes complaining why he only direct comedy movie...But I think that afdlin know what is the best that he wanted to do in his life..so he'll do something that he really love to..in that way..people will also learn to love the thing that he loves...pening ,is it? :) Moral of the story is: do whatever that u believe its true..eventhough others dont want u 2 do..(but make sure its really the right thing to do!)..


The last one is nizam zakaria..actually I dont even know this guy..but I read his blog and I felt in love with his writings..He wrote couple of novel and upload it on his blog..when u read it, u'll feel like u r entering other worlds of malaysian novel..usually malaysian novel that I also used to read is all about cintan cintun with a really2 handsome,rich,famous n smart guy with a really2 ayu,cun gile babi,lemah lembut girl..org xlawa xleh fall in love dgn laki ensem ke? But we love to read that kind of novels bcoz it is somehow made us escaping from our own life. But after reading nizam zakaria's novel, u'll feel like there's a lot of other things in Malaysia that u dont really exposed to..like contohnye pasal lelaki gay.. Usually lelaki ensem is gay..thats what I think..so, I dont like to be with handsome n good looking guy anymore..hahahah :))


So,before I stepped out..i would like to menyeru all of u guys out there who happens to visit my blog..please make a move and bring urself out of box too..so I merayu myself too..not to pleased others before I pleased myself..