As promised in my previous entry Basic Routine for children 0 - 6 years old; I'll share some tips on how to get your toddler to go to bed early and if possible, on their own. Nothing can ruin a romantic evening in the bedroom faster than your toddler running in and wanting to sleep between the two of you. There are some ways you can train your toddler to sleep in their own bed throughout the night if you have some patience and determination.
Before I proceed, please take note that I have only applied these tips for 2 weeks to my child. Alhamdulillah, so far these tips are proven quite efficient on my child (after 2 weeks probation period) but I cannot guarantee that it will work wonder on your children too as every child is unique in their own way. But basically these tips that I am about to share are the most common tips done by other parents in order to get their children to go to sleep early and most importantly on their own.
(1) Early dinner
• if you want your child to sleep by 9 p.m, dinner should be at 7 p.m.
• Kalau tak sempat nak masak sebab balik kerja pun dah pukul 7, apakata siapkan makanan anak dan bagi anak makan dulu. Bila anak dah siap makan, boleh minta tolong kat bapaknya jaga anak kejap dan mak boleh continue masak untuk proper dinner for adult.
(2) Bedtime routine
• before making SN go to bed, I'll perform bedtime routine such as bath --> brush teeth --> wear pyjamas--> read books --> lights off --> lie on bed --> good night wish --> doa tidur --> kiss & hug
• I belajar teknik ini dari Supernanny show and Nanny 911 show. Untuk yang tak pernah tengok, boleh search kat YouT.ube. Sebagai rujukan, PLAY video kat bawah ini untuk tengok cara-cara yang efisyen untuk tidurkan anak (minit 2:28 - 3:38).
Teknik bila anak keluar dari bilik :-
Step 1: Wish him "It's bedtime darling" - hugs and kiss and put him on his bed
Step 2: Bring him back on the bed, wish him "Good night darling"
Step 3: Put him back on his bed, don't say anything
Step 4: Repeat step 3 until he fall asleep
(3) Create a transitional object for your toddler
• Blankets, teddy bears and other familiar objects help young toddlers feel secure during the night and in their own bed.
+- CARS' bed-sheet, Pooh's blanket, Upin Ipin's pillow, teddy Anpanman and Pooh's bolster help to accompany SN and make him stay on his bed all night long -+
• Children need boundaries and schedules. Allowing your toddler to go to bed at 10 P.M. one night and then 8 P.M. the next night only confuses them and it doesn't offer the strict scheduling they need.
• Make sure you put them to bed around the same time every night unless there is a special occasion that prevents that from happening. Macam SN, hari cuti shaja daddy benarkan dia tidur lambat sikit, kalau hari sekolah memang kena tidur awal.
(5) Ignore the manipulative cry
• Many times when a toddler cry during bedtime, they are simply looking for attention. By talking to them, you give them the attention they crave.
• Instead of yelling or scolding or even talking to your toddler, simply carry them back to their bed, tuck them back in and slowly leave the room. Do this as many times as necessary until the toddler learns to stay in their bedroom.
• I have to admit, it is not an easy thing to do. 2 malam pertama, sayu hati I bila dengar tangisan SN tapi I kena kuatkan hati dan Alhamdulillah malam ke-3 dan seterusnya itu dia dah faham yang he has to sleep on his own bed.
(6) Gradually increase away time
• You might hear your toddler crying because they want to sleep with mommy and daddy. But giving in to their cries will only make the problem worse.
• Instead, go in their bedroom every two minutes to calm them down. If they keep it up, go in at five-minute intervals. Gradually increase the time until they stop crying and they have gone to sleep.
If above methods are still not working, you might want to use these additional method to assist in your child's bed time :-
(7) Use positive reinforcement
• Toddlers are suckers for small rewards. If you have a problem keeping your toddler in bed all night, make a chart and give him a sticker for each night he sleep in his bedroom throughout the night.
• After a few nights, give them a bigger reward like a toy or something they enjoy.
Those are the methods that I've been using to made SN go to bed early. I belajar tips ini dari savvy daddy dan jugak dari rancangan Nanny 911 & Supernanny yang I gigih tengok kat YouT.ube every night.
Also, I nak menjawab soalan dari Oyis dalam entry Basic Routine for children 0 - 6 years old; there's a question from Oyis regarding to the bedtime technique.
Though SN sleep on his own bed, he still sleeps in the same bedroom with us. I tak mampu nak buat macam omputih, letak anak tidur di bilik yang lain lagi sebab nanti tengah malam I suka kiss dia. My method is, I akan letak SN on his own bed --> tutup lampu --> tutup pintu --> keluar dari bilik dan stay kat dapur *masa ni lah I akan masak untuk lauk esok*.
Bila SN menangis, I akan buka sikit pintu bilik dan jenguk dia just to assure him that I tak tinggal dia pun. If he continue crying, I'll sit by his side and say nothing. Temankan dia sampai lah dia tertidur. Kadang-kadang I duduk bersila sebelah dia, tapi kadang-kadang I baring jugak sambil temankan sampai lah I tertidur sekali ekekeke.
Here's a video taken from Supernanny to gives you better approach on this method :-
Tujuan I share tips ini bukannya nak berlagak macam I hebat sangat jaga anak *nanti ada mulut-mulut jahat mengata I pulak kang "baru anak sorang boleh lah berlagak pandai. Tengok nanti bila anak dah 3 orang, sempat ke lagi nak apply tips nih?"*. Tidak terdetik pun niat nak berlagak pandai tapi perkongsian ini semata-mata untuk kebaikan bersama dan juga untuk hubby & I jugak supaya kami sentiasa konsisten dalam mengaplikasikan teknik menidurkan anak. *Abe if you read this, kindly learn all these techniques by heart*.
It's better late than never, rite?. Kalau anak dah 3 sekalipun kita baru nak apply teknik ini, it's OK. Yang penting ada keazaman dan keinginan nak buat perubahan yang lebih baik untuk anak. Sebelum ini I pun tak pernah tahu teknik-teknik ini semua, tapi Alhamdulillah bila dah faham teknik ini dan apply it, it works wonder on my child. So, I guess you guys should give it a try too, and see whether it works on your child or not.
I also want to share with you guys a nice tips from Aina on how she made her daughter go to sleep.
Janganlah harapkan perubahan drastik dalam satu malam, it surely takes some time but trust me, at the end of the day all your effort, patience and determination will gives fruitful result, insya Allah.
Once you teach you toddler to sleep in their own bedroom throughout the night, you can enjoy a sense of normalcy in your bedroom. It will do wonders for your relationship because you can once again enjoy the privacy and intimacy you once had. Training your toddler takes both patience and dedication from both parents.
On the other hand, you can wait until they outgrow the habit when they reach their preteen years. Which option would you prefer?. Again, you fikirlah sendiri yang mana yang terbaik untuk you, anak you dan keluarga you.