Back in the Fukuoka's saddle

"Macamana interview hari tu?" --> this is the most famous question that keep popping in at my YM window since yesterday. The question was raised by my family member and friends who were keen to know about the update of the interview session. First of all I would like to thanks to those of you that have wished me luck and kindly pray the best for me at this comment entry.


I leaved to Tokyo on the earliest flight from Fukuoka i.e on 7.10pm and I travel together with Hassan, a final year student who was also applying for the fellowship. Hubby & Baby SN send me to the airport, and truthfully I almost cried to left baby SN under daddy's daycare. Before going in the departure area, I kissed baby SN couples of time sampai dia rimas ngeee...*macam nak tinggal lama je, padahal tinggal 15 jam je*.

*menahan rasa sendu nak tinggal baby SN berdua dgn daddy je*

The flight journey from Fukuoka-Tokyo took about 2 hours and we arrived to the Shinjuku Washington Hotel about 1 and half hour later. Upon arriving at the interview area, we could see that other applicants have arrived there. Most of them are final year students in Japanese university who wish to pursue their master directly after graduating. There are only 2 persons who is doing PhD that are applying for the fellowship that is me and another lady that comes from Yokohama and has the same name as mine and originated from Kelantan as well..hohoho...what a coincidence.


Those who has finished the interview has gave soalan bocor to those who were waiting for their turn. The soalan bocor were :- "introduce yourself in English" and "tell me why do you want to be a tutor or lecturer?". After listening to the soalan bocor, I realize that this interview was looking for a tutor@lecturer, not to give fellowship@scholarship!. *Aiseh, camno ni..I dah travel jauh2 semata-mata sebab ingat nak apply scholarship.. huhuhu*.

While waiting for my turn, all I did was chatting with the other girls and went to the lunch with them. I didn't really prepare answer for the soalan bocor as it will makes me nervous if I couldn't remember the prepared answer..so I decided that I should just utter the answer naturally after the questions were asked. Other applicants were busy preparing for the answer to the questions and also practicing on their lines hehe..*I pulak duk sibuk ngacau adik2 tu, wat muka poyor konon2 I jadi interviewer kui3x*. We even get a special set of lunch prepared by the hotel given by the registrar as she was saying that "tekak kami tak berapa boleh terima makanan ni". Haaaa..apalagas...rezeki jangan di tolak..kitorang pon ngap lah makanan tu dengan kadar kelajuan supersonik eheh.

*lunch utk interviewer yang diorang tak mo makan tu*

*Niza, Irma & I cam-whoring sambil makan*

After a while, my name was called. I didn't get all those soalan bocor as the 3 interviewers knew that my intention was to apply for fellowship. Thus, they told me the real situation that they don't have enough funding to sponsor my studies right now but they are willing to accept me as a lecturer if I want to go back to Malaysia in near time and work with them as a lecturer first, and then after 3-4years of service, I will be given the chance to continue my PhD studies.....hohoho.


If I accept that offer, this would mean that I have to leave my studies that has started for almost 2 months and then immediately go back to Malaysia. This would also means that I have to leave darling hubby here and start my new career as a lecturer and live a life with baby SN for about 2 years without hubby around us...huhuuh.. I can't imagine that.


Accepting this offer will also means that all my effort of getting a place as a doctoral student at Kyushu University plus the admission exam process and not to forget the tuition fee for the first semester studies will be "vanished". Aiseh, penat jer lah I usaha contact dengan Prof, prepare utk exam, bayar yuran RM11k, usung baby SN tiap2 hari naik turun tren ke kampus yada yada... hohoohoh. If I start my studies again in another 3-4years time, I cant be ensure that I will be able to study under the supervision of a nice and understanding supervisor like Prof Yuji Ohya who has help me a lot through my studies and scholarship application and not forgetting being so tolerant to me when I have to come late and leave early everyday ...plus, providing me a special room in order to make sure that I'm comfortable to perform my prayer and to express the breastmilk with privacy...susah nak dapat weh, Prof baik gilosss macam nih, kan?.


I guess I should just let go this offer and look for another scholarship as I don't see this as the perfect option for me at the mean time. Lain lah kalau I ni macam adik2 final year tu, diorang tak start lagi master...pastu tiada apa yang "mengikat" mereka untuk stay kat sini. Kalau I kat tempat adik2 tu, I terus sign surat setuju sebelm diorang offer lagi hohohoho.


It looks like this is not meant for me at this time. Mungkin rezeki I dah di tetapkan oleh Nya kat tempat lain. All I have to do is to stay positive and to look for other scholarship@fellowship and making sure that I'm not going to give up on my studies though there were lots of obstacles along the journey. As the proverb were saying : "Starting a new endeavor is the hardest part of it" . I believe that though we are now in the state of fall on hard times situation, the time will come when all of this will be over and that we'll have a better life sooner or later.... *yakin dengan ketentuanNya-insya Allah*.


I arrived home at about 10 p.m and baby SN was sleeping soundlessly on the couch, looks like he's tired of waiting for me to come home, poor my little baby. I bought home a miyage from Tokyo for hubby as a token to him for taking a good care of baby SN while I'm away. Its a sweets known as Tokyo Almond Tart that I bought at the airport.

*cantik packaging dia kan huhuhu*


*Tokyo Almond Tart*

Having the chance to experience this situation in my life has turned me to a much stronger and independent person than I used to be. I understand clearly right now that life wont be flowing in a Laminar Flow state at all times, instead Turbulent Flow will also arises here and there just to ensure that the vortexes that occurred in our life will make us remember where was our initial condition i.e to seek for Allah's help. ~ yatie chomeyl's palsampah ~
* Laminar flow = A desirable type of fluid flow in which fluid moves smoothly in individual layers or streams
* Turbulent flow = An undesirable type of fluid flow in which fluid moves roughly and erratically
* Vortex = the shape of something rotating rapidly


Pssssttt: wah, kali ni berpalsampah dalam aerospace application gitu, ekekeke.