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Tuesday, 17 April 2012

3 y/o is one stubborn persistent lil toddler

http://www.murabbi.net/images/smiley/assalamualaikum.gif
How do you feel when someone labelled your toddler as "stubborn", "exhausting," and a "crybaby"?. 

As for me, those words are negative. I think it is better to choose a more positive words such as a spirited child who is "persistent", "energetic", and "sensitive". Not only because of the undying love I have for him but also for the sake of mulut mak2 ni masin, so I think it is wise to always use the positive label on my son.


+- my energetic little 2 years 11 months old toddler -+

SN was about to hit 3 years old next month. SN turns from a good obedient baby to a "I have my own opinion" toddler. Although he'll do what his daddy & mommy ask him to do, but sometimes he'll refused and say "NO" and ignored both of us totally. If we forced him to do it, he'll yell back at us and as if that is not enough, he'll cry out loud to show the refusal. And did I mention he also talks non stop from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed? adus

And all of those behaviors usually happens at night, when both mommy & daddy were tired..perfect!. What a great way to end the day :damn:.


 +- sekejap sengih, lepas tu tiba2 boleh masam mencuka -+

I do believed that SN is not the only child who suffer this 3y/o terrible tantrum phase, so I Google-d to find out more about this. True to what I was thinking, there are thousands of other parents out there who's having some issues with their 3 years old toddler. 

There's a comment in a babycenter forum, saying :
"Three year olds are psychotic.  Seriously.  They're tiny terrorists with no *real* sense of empathy, and they live in the NOW NOW NOW (and ME ME ME).  They're impossible to live with. People talk about the "terrible twos", but that's nothing compared to the "terrifying threes".  Two year olds LOVE the word "no".  They use it a ton.  But three year olds *MEAN IT* when they say "no".  

Here's another comment that caught my attention : "She used to be so sweet and polite and listened pretty well for a toddler, but the second she turned 3 she became a little monster!  My DH and I have been torturing ourselves trying to figure out where we went wrong!"

 
 +- trust me, it's not easy to raise a well-behaved child -+

It is so comforting to know that my sweet, well behaved toddler is not alone in turning into a little monster at 3!  I'm pretty laid back in general, but not when it comes to the issue about my child. So I have to always remind myself this must be only a phase. Thus, I look for solutions before I turned myself into a monster during this phase :-

(1) Jangan cepat naik angin..Don't lose your cool. 
• The more I shouted at him to stop, the wilder he would get. What worked instead, was to just sit down and be with him while he raged.

(2) Remember that you're the adult. 

• No matter how long the tantrum continues, don't give in to unreasonable demands or negotiate with your screaming preschooler. Nanti dia ingat setiap kali mengamuk je, akan dapat apa yang dia nak. Jangan megalah, tabhakan hati mu wahai mak bapak sekalian!tanduk

(3) Talk it over afterward...bincang lepas dia dah cool down

• Usually I'll knee down to his level, ask him to look into my eyes and let him talk about what happened. I'll acknowledge his frustration, and encourage him put his feelings into words by asking, "SN geram ko?", "Bakpo SN teriok nyo, stop crying tell mommy what happened. kalu teriok mommy tok pehe". 

(4) Try to head off tantrum-triggering situations. 

• Pay attention to what pushes your preschooler's buttons and plan accordingly. Cari punca dulu dan kalau boleh lepas ni elakkan dari punca2 tu terjadi contohnya kalau dia mengamuk sebab lapar, prepare snacks siap2 dalam bag.  
• Monitor how often you're saying "NO" too. If you find you're rattling it off routinely, you're probably putting unnecessary stress on both of you. 

(5) Give reward
• Reward your child when you see her handling frustration or disappointment in a mature way. "Wow, I like how you didn't fuss one bit when I asked you to help pick up the toys on the floor before going outside."

(6) Doa ibu bapa ialah doa yang makbul

•  Antara doa-doa yang digalakkan diamalkan semasa mengandung ialah :-
    (i) Saidul (penghulu) istighfar
    (ii) Doa memohon rahmat (Al-Quran Surah Ali ‘Imran, 3:8-9)
    (iii) Doa memohon zuriat yang baik (Al-Quran Surah Ali ‘Imran, 3:38)
    (iv) Doa agar anak mengerjakan solat ((Al-Quran Surah Ibrahim, 14:40-41)

• Doa-doa yang digalakkan diamalkan semasa anak membesar ialah :-
    (i) Doa agar anak patuh kepada Allah s.w.t (Al-Quran Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:128)
    (ii) Doa diberi zuriat yang menyejukkan hati (Al-Quran Surah Al-Fuqan, 25:74)
    (iii) Doa supaya nama anak membawa kebaikan kepadanya.



Bila dah tahu yang anak2 orang lain pun mengalami phase macam ni, rasa tenang sikit hati ni. Plus, now that I have found the ideas to handle this phase...I dah tak jadi mak singa macam dulu. Bila nak naik angin je, cepat2 bisikkan kat dalam diri sendiri yang "SN was always a good baby. Sesekali dia nak juga uji kesabaran mommy & daddy; so takkan itu pun takleh sabar. Lagipun dia budak pandai, mestilah dia ada pendapat dia sendiri..takkan asyik nak ikut je apa mommy & daddy cakap"

+- budak bijak kan, mesti lah ada pendapat sendiri *jangan cakap I riak pulak puji anak sendiri bijak, ni sebahagian dari kata2 doa seorg ibu buat anaknya* -+

Cuma bila ada orang yang terlepas cakap mengatakan "SN degil", sumpah rasa sedih sangat2 sampai nangis berbakul-bakul...rasa macam tak orang tu tak memahami betapa sakitnya nak melahirkan seorang anak dan betapa tak mudah untuk membesarkan seorang anak. Is it just me yang terlebih emo, or mak2 lain pun akan rasa macam ni jugak?.


+- ingat senang ke nak latih SN pose macam model ni? errr..off topic pulak ihikhik eheh -+


Sebelum berpisah, sedikit pesanan buat ibubapa lain yang tengah bergelut menahan sabar dengan kerenah anak -->"Bila kita mengeluh dengan nakalnya anak, ketahuilah bahawa di suatu tempat ada mereka yang terpaksa melayan anak yang cacat. Bila kita mengeluh dengan sedikitnya anak, ketahuilah bahawa di suatu tempat ada yang langsung tidak punya anak. Bila kita mengeluh dengan kelemahan pasangan, ketahuilah bahawa di suatu tempat ada yang menanti-nanti bila jodohnya kan tiba".

+- u melt my heart when you smile -+


Pssssttt : sebab tu orang cakap, "Anak itu madu dan racun". Mommy sayang kamu sangat2 SN tak kira lah masa SN manis mahupun masam love .

~ Thanks for reading this (^-*) ~
 

21 words of wisdom & comments:

yunadiagaga said...

dah besar anak sepupu kakak sorang ni.huhuhu.kakti,rinduuuu

*azni* said...

anak sy pun camtu gak kak,umo baru 2thn 5bln tp kecek n perbuatan mcm org tua..klu kita cakap no,dia akan ckp no no no sambil gerak2 jari telunjuk lagi tau..kdg2 nak marah pun xjd sbb klaka tgk reaksi dia..dan amat suka berborak dari celik mata sampai nak tido..dgn lori pun bolen dia layan cakap..normal la kak anak2 dlm fasa camtu..so byk2 kan bersabar jelah.. ;) wah,dah boleh buat entry ni..

nieda said...

anak mcm2 perangai.. tp itulah yg seronoknya. anak membuatkan kita rasa sayang, suka, happy, marah.. semua perasaan ada

zailamohamad said...

aku dah melalui fasa itu, dulu Haziq loni Husna & tak lama lagi Ashraf pula

meme kade2 menggugat kesabaran..mulut aku meme bising (berehi ngepek) sapa Husna suka sound aku balik..

pendek kata, bukan senang nak mendidik anak, dari kecil sampai diorang besar cabarannya berbeza2 ikut umur..apa2 pon semoga anak2 kita tergolong menjadi anak2 yg soleh & solehah..amin

Rai Ourkizuna said...

besar dah SN...pejam celik tak lama lagi nak dapat menantu da..haha..

bila menghadapi tantrum anak2 kadang2 memang rasa nak jadi resaksa..nak ngamuk bagai..tapi bila dah calm down..pk pk balik.. bukan lama pun proses ni..bila diorang da besar nanti mesti rindu bila ingat saat ni..

☆*♥L@dy @yU♥*☆ said...

yes anak makin besar dia ada own opinion dah...cth nak beli baju if dulu kiter pilih mana yang berkenan now dia kena pilih if not bebel mcm mak nenek....nak dlm fasa nak membesar ni memang mencabar sket nak jaga...tera dia nk paham mana yg ok ker x....so fighting!!

lavenderlover said...

alolo..comelnyer anak akak..dah la bergaya,,comel..energetic plak..suke tgk..hehe..may ur family is blessed by Him always..=)

Hanis MY said...

sungguh mencabar... tula hok mok ayoh kito alami dulu... kalu ore pun sensitif bilo ore lain oyak gitu ko anok kito tapi gak nok wak rano mulut ore tokleh nok sekat, kita cuba terbaik tuk didik nok kito (kecek supo nga ado anok rama haha)...

oloh SN panda posing supo mommy dio... boleh jadi model majalah balik mesia pahni...

transformed housewife said...

tu baru sore lagu tu. hehe. sementaro nok besa mcm2 peel'. dulu maso kecik2 kito pung byok peel jugok. pening palo muloh ma & abah.

Kamalia said...

betul yatie..kadang2 bila nak naik hangin dengan ank2 ni,mesti kena ingat dulu time dia kecik2,sanagt baik,sangat dengar arahan..segala yag baikla time tu..so,agak kurangla bila nak marah tu..tapi itula,lain anak,lain pulak cara nak control diorang ni..mcm2 perangai..huhu
p/s:i pun suka guna app gifrus tu..ramai IGers gunakan..:)

Asmara said...

sekejap je dah nak 3 tahun. isk2 rasanya start baca blog yati ni masa tengah pregnant. eh lama i jd silent reader u kan. eheh..

Oyis said...

tu la, ore pon sokmo keno peringat diri. instead of tinggi suara or lepuk aisyah, ore akan tarik nafas dan explain ke dia bakpo x leh wat benda yg dia wat tu. bdk 2-3 thn ni kita rasa supo bazir air liur jah royat ke dia x paham gapo, tp dio paham, cuma kena sabar royat sokmo dih (ni masa kesabaran tggi la). ada jgk time tubik jgk speaker agung, mula la tok laki kato supo mok tiri hehe.

ADEEYA said...

Comel !:D

Nanak said...

teringat masa my baby baru 1y dan ada sorg makcik ni ckp 'ni kalau besar nanti konfem degil'...ya Tuhan, rasa nak lempang je mulut dia..
pasal anak2 ni i mmg cepat emo...:(
i kalau marah, i akn cepat2 tarik nafas pjg2..hihihi..

yatie chomeyl said...

nadia : rindu jugak ♥♥♥♥

azni : kiro anok ore lain pun gini jugop la deh

yatie chomeyl said...

nieda : yup, anak lah madu anaklah racun ;)

zaila : insya Allah, ameen

yatie chomeyl said...

Rai : amboiii siap nk dpt menantu dah, dasyat okeh ehehe

lady ayu : aah kan, bergelut pilih baju pun dah satu hal aiyarkkkk

yatie chomeyl said...

lavenderlove : mekaceh utk doa tu, sayang ketat2 XOXO

hanis : jadi model untuk kamera mommy dio jah buleh la kot, klu kamera ore lain takut dio xsey posing..koya malu hehe

yatie chomeyl said...

Kamalia : best kan guna apps tu, sng nk edit gmbr ;)

asmara : aah lama betul kak as jd silent reader, terharu I ;)

yatie chomeyl said...

Oyis : tu la, maso kesbrn tinggi buleh la explain. maos letih, aaaaa terus bukok speaker altec lansing la jawabnyo hahaha

adeeya : mekaceh ;)

nanak : amboii mulut makcik tu xde insurans...sekeh baru tau makcik tu

Min Aina Ila Aina said...

Sofiy pun 3 tahun bulan ni. Dia bab-bab melawan balik macam dah ok sikit. Bila dia tinggi suara tu, saya tegur baik2 dengan suara yang rendah "Kenapa Sofiy marah umi, tak baik tau marah umi macam tu Allah tak suka".

Tapi sekarang ni, bila suruh dia buat memek muka tak setuju pulak. Saya akan bagi arahan sekali saja,tapi arahan tu kena jelas siap dengan sebab dan akibatnya. bila saya tengok dia buat muka saya terus tinggalkan dia tanpa beri apa-apa respon. Selalunya, dia akan buat juga apa yg disuruh cuma mungkin lambat sikit. Ok la tu, saya tak mintak lebih.

Kerenah anak-anak ni buat kita tambah kreatif, dan semestinya mengukuhkan kesabaran. Tapi saya selalu juga 'terlepas bom' time nak peot.hehe.

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