3 y/o is one stubborn persistent lil toddler

How do you feel when someone labelled your toddler as "stubborn", "exhausting," and a "crybaby"?. 

As for me, those words are negative. I think it is better to choose a more positive words such as a spirited child who is "persistent", "energetic", and "sensitive". Not only because of the undying love I have for him but also for the sake of mulut mak2 ni masin, so I think it is wise to always use the positive label on my son.

+- my energetic little 2 years 11 months old toddler -+

SN was about to hit 3 years old next month. SN turns from a good obedient baby to a "I have my own opinion" toddler. Although he'll do what his daddy & mommy ask him to do, but sometimes he'll refused and say "NO" and ignored both of us totally. If we forced him to do it, he'll yell back at us and as if that is not enough, he'll cry out loud to show the refusal. And did I mention he also talks non stop from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed? . 

And all of those behaviors usually happens at night, when both mommy & daddy were tired..perfect!. What a great way to end the day .

 +- sekejap sengih, lepas tu tiba2 boleh masam mencuka -+

I do believed that SN is not the only child who suffer this 3y/o terrible tantrum phase, so I Google-d to find out more about this. True to what I was thinking, there are thousands of other parents out there who's having some issues with their 3 years old toddler. 

There's a comment in a babycenter forum, saying :

"Three year olds are psychotic.  Seriously.  They're tiny terrorists with no *real* sense of empathy, and they live in the NOW NOW NOW (and ME ME ME).  They're impossible to live with. People talk about the "terrible twos", but that's nothing compared to the "terrifying threes".  Two year olds LOVE the word "no".  They use it a ton.  But three year olds *MEAN IT* when they say "no".  

Here's another comment that caught my attention : "She used to be so sweet and polite and listened pretty well for a toddler, but the second she turned 3 she became a little monster!  My DH and I have been torturing ourselves trying to figure out where we went wrong!"

 

 +- trust me, it's not easy to raise a well-behaved child -+

It is so comforting to know that my sweet, well behaved toddler is not alone in turning into a little monster at 3!  I'm pretty laid back in general, but not when it comes to the issue about my child. So I have to always remind myself this must be only a phase. Thus, I look for solutions before I turned myself into a monster during this phase :-

(1) Jangan cepat naik angin..Don't lose your cool. 
• The more I shouted at him to stop, the wilder he would get. What worked instead, was to just sit down and be with him while he raged.

(2) Remember that you're the adult. 
• No matter how long the tantrum continues, don't give in to unreasonable demands or negotiate with your screaming preschooler. Nanti dia ingat setiap kali mengamuk je, akan dapat apa yang dia nak. Jangan megalah, tabhakan hati mu wahai mak bapak sekalian!

(3) Talk it over afterward...bincang lepas dia dah cool down
• Usually I'll knee down to his level, ask him to look into my eyes and let him talk about what happened. I'll acknowledge his frustration, and encourage him put his feelings into words by asking, "SN geram ko?", "Bakpo SN teriok nyo, stop crying tell mommy what happened. kalu teriok mommy tok pehe". 

(4) Try to head off tantrum-triggering situations. 
• Pay attention to what pushes your preschooler's buttons and plan accordingly. Cari punca dulu dan kalau boleh lepas ni elakkan dari punca2 tu terjadi contohnya kalau dia mengamuk sebab lapar, prepare snacks siap2 dalam bag.  
• Monitor how often you're saying "NO" too. If you find you're rattling it off routinely, you're probably putting unnecessary stress on both of you. 

(5) Give reward
• Reward your child when you see her handling frustration or disappointment in a mature way. "Wow, I like how you didn't fuss one bit when I asked you to help pick up the toys on the floor before going outside."

(6) Doa ibu bapa ialah doa yang makbul

•  Antara doa-doa yang digalakkan diamalkan semasa mengandung ialah :-
    (i) Saidul (penghulu) istighfar
    (ii) Doa memohon rahmat (Al-Quran Surah Ali ‘Imran, 3:8-9)
    (iii) Doa memohon zuriat yang baik (Al-Quran Surah Ali ‘Imran, 3:38)
    (iv) Doa agar anak mengerjakan solat ((Al-Quran Surah Ibrahim, 14:40-41)
• Doa-doa yang digalakkan diamalkan semasa anak membesar ialah :-
    (i) Doa agar anak patuh kepada Allah s.w.t (Al-Quran Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:128)
    (ii) Doa diberi zuriat yang menyejukkan hati (Al-Quran Surah Al-Fuqan, 25:74)
    (iii) Doa supaya nama anak membawa kebaikan kepadanya.

Bila dah tahu yang anak2 orang lain pun mengalami phase macam ni, rasa tenang sikit hati ni. Plus, now that I have found the ideas to handle this phase...I dah tak jadi mak singa macam dulu. Bila nak naik angin je, cepat2 bisikkan kat dalam diri sendiri yang "SN was always a good baby. Sesekali dia nak juga uji kesabaran mommy & daddy; so takkan itu pun takleh sabar. Lagipun dia budak pandai, mestilah dia ada pendapat dia sendiri..takkan asyik nak ikut je apa mommy & daddy cakap". 

+- budak bijak kan, mesti lah ada pendapat sendiri *jangan cakap I riak pulak puji anak sendiri bijak, ni sebahagian dari kata2 doa seorg ibu buat anaknya* -+

Cuma bila ada orang yang terlepas cakap mengatakan "SN degil", sumpah rasa sedih sangat2 sampai nangis berbakul-bakul...rasa macam tak orang tu tak memahami betapa sakitnya nak melahirkan seorang anak dan betapa tak mudah untuk membesarkan seorang anak. Is it just me yang terlebih emo, or mak2 lain pun akan rasa macam ni jugak?.

+- ingat senang ke nak latih SN pose macam model ni? errr..off topic pulak eheh -+

Sebelum berpisah, sedikit pesanan buat ibubapa lain yang tengah bergelut menahan sabar dengan kerenah anak -->"Bila kita mengeluh dengan nakalnya anak, ketahuilah bahawa di suatu tempat ada mereka yang terpaksa melayan anak yang cacat. Bila kita mengeluh dengan sedikitnya anak, ketahuilah bahawa di suatu tempat ada yang langsung tidak punya anak. Bila kita mengeluh dengan kelemahan pasangan, ketahuilah bahawa di suatu tempat ada yang menanti-nanti bila jodohnya kan tiba".

+- u melt my heart when you smile -+

Pssssttt : sebab tu orang cakap, "Anak itu madu dan racun". Mommy sayang kamu sangat2 SN tak kira lah masa SN manis mahupun masam .

~ Thanks for reading this (^-*) ~